Loneliness. Patience.

He walks slowly on the evening street, a low fog has settled on road below. There is a slight, cool, breeze that compliments the fog that seems to chill to the bone. Walking slowly by himself, he wonders, will it be like this forever? How long will this wait be? There is so much longing for the one that will complete. There are many feelings that cannot be shared until that day comes. How will he know when the right one has come? Previously, feelings that have been so strong, so sure, have failed him. The life that he has, and wants to share, has been denied. The cool breeze brings him back to the hill he is walking up. This night is like any other night, but the feelings are much stronger tonight. Loneliness. How much longer?

There is another though, one who has caught his eye. This girl is different. She has a simple, genuine elegance which shows her beautiful maturity; that compliments her outer beauty. She could show him that loneliness is only a stage in this life. Can she be trusted? Patience. That is what is required for this stage. There is still much to be learned in this period, rushing anything would bring disaster. Impatience has brought much pain. That is not an option.

The heart is a deceitful thing which has lied to him in the past. The desires of companionship and fulfillment that have haunted him for so long have been twisted by his heart. He is unable to trust his heart completely. Too much pain has resulted in the past from that trust.

Loneliness. It isn’t because of a lack of friends for him. It is because he desires someone to pour into, a companion to share life with. Patience. The timing isn’t right for this yet; these desires will be bottled up yet again, until he allows himself to become vulnerable. Vulnerability becomes a scary thing for him because of past events. Vulnerability has yielded nothing but an aching heart that has been ripped open again and again. Trust which has been given has been broken too many times for him to count.

These desires are not wrong, but they are not ready to be satisfied. Frustration is still what inhabits his mind and core of his being. Why must these feelings be denied? Trust in one who knows what life holds in store is crucial. He needs to rest in the peace that the one who knows all, knows this as well. Questions will always be there, but trust in the creator of life will bring the answers, and the patience to wait for them.

we just battle ourselves

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”  —  Mahatma Gandhi

I have been burnt time and time again by church organizations.  I develop websites, shoot photographs and do design work, and I trust churches and church organizations again and again in regards to finances. In the end, I find out that what they preach and what they practice are two different things.  Do I want to wear the name “Christian” and be associated with these people?

On the other hand there are churches and church organizations who are the model clients, bills paid on time, not trying to take advantage of people.  They model Christ in the business world in a way that is pleasing.  I enjoy being associated with these Christians that actually display Christ’s love.

Why does the Church attack itself?  What is the difference?  Why are there differences?